so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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