I love black thongs
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
