It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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