i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
