The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
