doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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