There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my poor anus
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
