what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
