it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You're like the curious george of whores
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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