I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
