she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
As shirtless as possible
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
