happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
