That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
two words: eviction party
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
