Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is my gift to your gina
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
