Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
