Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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