OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
