How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
