I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
