no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
