do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
