before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
