would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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