Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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