I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sext me about skeletons
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize