I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
