"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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