I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
