You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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