You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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