One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He shit in the fireplace
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize