I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I will be naked everywhere
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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