I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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