My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
