Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
