perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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