I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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