can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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