problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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