The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
