Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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