Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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