i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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