my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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