Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
