ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
