Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just high enough for therapy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
