How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
