Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
