bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize