Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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