i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize