No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
