after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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