I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize