Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
