So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
