dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
