So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
