Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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