...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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