Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize