my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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