Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He kissed a someone with a penis
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
